Justice Stephen Breyer’s Nuts

And the beat goes on. I ate Justice Breyer’s nuts tonight – before, during, and after a program he gave at work. Each time I passed through the green room, I couldn’t help but reach out to grab one (or three) of his nuts and pop them into my mouth.

Remember when I ate Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s nuts? She had requested a special variety of nuts, but Justice Breyer made no specifications. I selected Planters NUT*rition Energy Mix, comprised of almonds, honey roasted sesame sticks, peanuts, dark chocolate covered soynuts, walnuts, and pecans. I love dark chocolate and I’m on a soy kick, so why not introduce Justice Breyer to a few of my favorite things?

I first met Justice Breyer’s head security guard, Mark, of the Supreme Court Police (I’d love to live a day in the life) in the late afternoon to show him around and explain the flow of the evening program. I made no mention of my intention to eat Justice Breyer’s nuts. He didn’t have a clue (and hopefully never will).

Before the program, two (male) co-workers were going out to get dinner and asked if I wanted anything.

“No, I’m ok. I’ll just eat Justice Breyer’s nuts.” Then they blushed. Red cheeks over almonds, who would have thought?

Alerted by security guard Mark calling my cell phone, I was in place to open the door for Justice Breyer. In he came wearing a bright reddish-orange jacket, with his wife close by. I didn’t tell her that I had and would continue to eat her husband’s nuts throughout the evening. Story of my life.

The Justice had actually gone home early from work because of flu-like symptoms but still made it to the program (don’t you love insider details?). Major PHEW since I was responsible for the event. We put out cough drops for him in the green room (diagonal from his nuts) and he had one; the wrapper now sits on my kitchen counter. The remainder of his nuts – those that I didn’t eat – are in a jar, also on my kitchen counter next to the jar labeled “Justice Ginsburg’s Nuts.” I also brought home the remaining water in his drinking glass. I find this hilarious (insert evil laugh).
You may think I’m weird (sick), but you’re still reading this. And you’ll continue to. Yeah. Yeah you will.

I was lucky enough to get a photo with the Justice and his wife, Hon. Joanna Freda Hare, a member of the British aristocracy (a Justice and he gets to ascend the throne). Perhaps I’ll print it on a label to affix to the jar containing his remaining nuts, suitably capturing the significance of meeting one of the most powerful men in the country.