Cold Nuts

If you know me, you know I have a proclivity for eating peanut butter out of the jar, annihilating the plastic treasure chest in just two sittings, sometimes within the same day. Yeah, I know I’m ill.

I give myself breaks between ransacked jars, thinking two months is enough time to heal and I won’t consume the next jar as rapidly. Here looms over my head the saying, “You’re only kidding yourself.”

Sometimes I tell myself that when consuming the crunchy variety (really the only way peanut butter should be made; as in, there’s no chocolate other than dark) to just eat the crunchy parts and avoid the butter. That turns my wrist and forearm into a sticky mess, as I wipe the excess butter on the jar’s rim and then get into trouble as I dig in to violate the jar’s bottom. Story of my life.

I write this vignette with a jar of peanut butter to my left. All natural peanut butter. The kind that has to be refrigerated after opening. I didn’t think cold peanut butter would be tempting. Once again, “You’re only kidding yourself” resonates loudly and visibly (I think I just got peanut butter on my keyboard. Story of my life.