Suitors Take Note

If you’re going to love me, you should be aware (and accepting) of the following:

I take a really long time choosing fruits and vegetables in the produce section of the supermarket.

I find supermarkets to be cathartic. I love roaming the aisles mid-day. If a stock boy checks me out, all the better.

When I get back from a trip, I have to unpack immediately.

I sometimes eat half a box of cereal late at night. Sometimes twice in the same week. It’s always high fiber varieties. No fruit loops for me.

I’m not a good swimmer.

I tweeze my eyebrows daily.

I think food tastes better when it’s shared.

I begin yawning at 11:00 pm

Breakfast is my favorite meal of the day. Sometimes I want to go to bed early just so I can wake up and have breakfast.

I think Rod Stewart is the sexiest man alive. People magazine slights him every year.

I’m annoying to trail at a salad bar. If there is a bin of tri-colored peppers, I’ll pick out the red ones.

One of my biggest fears in life is a food allergy.

I hate cats; I think they’re over-sized rats.

Growing up, I wanted to be a gift-wrapper at Macy’s.

I feel spiritual on my hot pink yoga mat.

My dad calls me “Jack” because he was vying for a son.

I was President of the National Honor Society in high school, as well as the President of the National Junior Honor Society in middle school.

I feel beautiful in a shower cap.

The back to school section at Target thrills me.

I don’t like wine. I think it’s pretentious.

I prefer sparkling water to flat.

I have the appetite of a 300 lb. man.

I still think there’s potential for me to grow taller.

I think that harmless lies of convenience are perfectly fine.

I didn’t go to my senior prom.

I’m an emotional eater.

I carry an umbrella, travel-sized lint brush, and mouthwash with me at all times.

I don’t watch TV except for The Today Show. There’s no better way to start the day than with Matt Lauer.

I once dressed up as The Macho Man Randy Savage for Halloween.

Trail mix haunts me. Story of my life.

I have to get each pair of pants I buy hemmed.

I love going to the movies solo.

I think my soul is European.